FOX NEWS NEW PANIC What Kind of Husband Goes Grocery Shopping with his Wife?
FOX NEWS NEW PANIC It has lately been brought to my attention, through the ever-vigilant sages of Fox News, that a most alarming degeneracy has taken root in our civilization: the modern man, once a titan of industry and remote controls, has begun… accompanying his wife to the supermarket. I shall not soften the horror. There he stands, in the produce aisle—examining avocados, comparing prices, even (God preserve us) holding the basket. What was once a fortress of masculine detachment has become a marketplace of shared decision-making. One trembles to imagine what comes next: recipe discussions? Coupon awareness? Eye contact over pasta sauce brands? The commentators, in their wisdom, have hinted at two equally dreadful possibilities. Either the man has become a tyrant, hovering over his wife’s sacred domain of grocery selection, micromanaging the ripeness of bananas with despotic zeal—or worse, far worse, he has surrendered entirely, reduced to a docile cart-pusher under th...